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User blog:Keiisnotthattired/Why I Quit The Discord Server
EDIT: I'm back, jack. I feel like I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of this and should have just been honest in the first place, but y'all have just been so kind and understanding about this and I just can't begin to thank you enough. <3 I'll leave this post here for reference. Hey, guys. Today I have a sensitive issue that I feel needs to be addressed. I'm sure everyone has been wondering why I'm so inactive on MegaGamer1's Carl's Discord Server. I'm not sure if anyone has noticed yet, but I have decided to quit the server. But why? There are multiple factors that played a roll in my decision, which I will list. Reason one: I am naturally ambiverted. As you know, I could be active on the server and seem just fine talking to everyone and having fun, but then I'll disappear. The reason I disappear is partly due to my ambiversion. I charge in social sittuations, but at any given time--and without warning--a switch will flip in my mind, and I suddenly need to charge in my alone time. So I am either less active or completely disappear. Reason two: My disappearances lead to a feeling of being afraid to return. So, I'll have my alone time and then feel like I can come back to the server. Except I can't. Because it's been a whole week. I feel like I can't come back due to how awkward it'll be when I return. A week turns into two weeks, which turns into a month, and six months, and so on. I now have a reputation for rarely speaking to anyone. My appearances have become a "rare sight" or a "one in a million chance" or something like that. And, yes, I realize that I did it to myself by disappearing in the first place... but honestly it's really hard for me to keep up my mental health, so having that charging time by myself is an incredibly crucial thing for me when I need it, just as social charging time is crucial when I need it. As much as I wish I could control my social vs alone needs, I can't. Reason three: I don't have the same time restraints as you guys do, nor the ability to keep up a seven-hour conversation every time we talk. It's a normal thing to talk with someone for a long time when you haven't seen them for an eternity, but it's always been like this on live chat platforms--going all the way back to xat iStreet. We talk. All day. There's nothing wrong with talking... it's just that I can't do it for seven hours. With multiple people at the same time via private messages. I have things I need to and or want to do, but I've been told by people before while chatting to not do another activity during our conversation. This whole thing just makes me feel stressed out and stuck. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I also don't want to spend hours upon hours talking about random things we could talk about any other day when I have more time to give. I have other people that I talk to on Discord, too... but I always have to lie about whether I'm online or not because I don't want to be bombarded with "OHMYGOODNESS IT'S THE RARE IMA AWAKENING FROM HIBERNATION" followed by seven direct messages resulting in convos that last up to seven hours. As much as I enjoy your company and friendship, I just can't talk for so long. So I kind of just... extended my disappearances to longer than they needed to be in fear of long conversations. Okay, but... why did I leave the server? Because the server is a place where we chat in real time. The server is a place where everyone can see that I'm online and point out that fact, resulting in the aforementioned swarm of private messages. And I don't want our conversations to bring me stress--I want to have fun with you guys. So, in closing, I think that it will be better for my relationship with all of you if I stay off of the Discord server for now. I will remain on Discord, but I will be making changes to how I handle situations. I will now be using the status feature properly, and instead of forcing myself to talk for such a long time... I'll just specify when I need to go? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But yeah, addressing the issue is only step one. (And I recognize that this entire issue was my own fault in the first place...) In case you do not have my Discord and want to message me directly, my Discord tag is: keiisnotthattired#8857 Thanks for your time. I hope you understand. I will likely rejoin the server at some point, once I get the hang of things. I really do love and appreciate the friendships I have with each and every one of you, and I want to make things better and to be a better friend. <3 (There's a chance that I'm making a huge mistake, though, so if that ends up being the case, I'll rejoin the server and we'll pretend this never happened, okay? >_>;) Category:Blog posts